Signs that you definitely have to let go of your ex.
The signs your ex is over you can be hard to accept, especially if you’re still in love with him or her. Although some broken relationships can be healed but other times you just need to know when to give up. It can be hard, but that’s why you need to pay attention to all the signs your ex is over you. You don’t want to keep trying if he clearly doesn’t want you back.
Here are some very obvious signs that tells you, you are wasting your time and making a fool of yourself:
1. He has flat out said that you deserve better and cannot give you the relationship that you want. You have given it your best shot over and over through off and on dating, but it always yields the same results of an unhappy relationship.
Reality Check: Ladies, you can only give the relationship a shot so many times. There comes a point where you have to step back from the situation, and think from your head — NOT your heart. It’s tough, but if your dynamic isn’t working after multiple attempts, please have the courage to walk away. And when you feel like texting him to give it another shot? Text a friend instead.
2. He won’t fully let you into his life. If there are secrets that were kept during the relationship, and he still won’t acknowledge that there are aspects of his life that he is hiding, then it will make for a tumultuous relationship. As one older and experienced friend advised — run, don’t walk from these sort of relationships.
Reality Check: It can be so beyond painful when you want nothing more than to help someone and to continually bang on a person’s heart, pleading for them to let you into their world. Yet, if after much effort they won’t give you access into their life, then you have to acknowledge that they are either hiding something or just have some sort of internal wall up that they need to deal with, prior to being able to have a serious relationship.
HUGE RED FLAG to indicate he’s hiding something: He won’t allow you to see any of his social media accounts, as in he won’t even accept your friend request on Facebook. Or there are some who would accept your friend request so as not to offend you but after a day or so, they’d delete you. You can always confront him on this, but if he puts up a fight, then something is up, and it’s time to give someone else a chance. Relationships are about communication and allowing walls to come down, so if he can’t even let you into his social life via the web, then forget it.
3. Communication is infrequent. He does not text you as often, and if so, it is more vague with longer periods of time in between exchanges. As much as I get annoyed by the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You, the film is very true and this is a sure sign it is time to go ahead and let go – due to his fading interest in you.
Reality Check/New Mantra: DO NOT LIVE FOR THE GREY DOTS. If you find yourself watching your IPhone constantly to see if those little text dot, dot, dots are going to appear, thus producing continual massive anxiety, you are wasting your energy. The right guy won’t make you worry as to whether he will respond.
So, please make a vow to yourself to not live for those grey dots to appear, and walk on proudly without being consumed about if/when that ex will reach out or respond. We are so better than that, ladies.
4. He completely ignores your calls, texts and emails. Another obvious sign.
Reality Check: This most certainly means he’s over you. As hard as this can be to swallow, take the high road and don’t give him the time of the day by reaching out — it’s wasted energy.
5. If you look back and honestly realize that most of the time he made you unhappy. Your friends could see he wasn’t right for you, but you were so blinded by a true connection, that you ignored how he really made you feel.
Reality Check: When you take time to really reflect about the relationship, do you find that you overlooked? Getting a lot of red flags and just shoved them under the carpet in hopes that the relationship would improve? Did you have to make excuses for your ex’s behavior to your friends? Did your friends dislike your ex and call out the fact that he was a bad match?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, just be grateful that he is now an ex. Simple as that. You might feel heartbreak now, but in the long run, it’s fabulous news that he’s out of the picture.
6. He hopes to stay friends. If your guy peacefully tells you directly that he would just prefer to stay friends and date other people, it’s an obvious sign that he is done with the relationship. He would love to remain friends but unfortunately anything further is out of the picture.
Reality check: There are some guys who just don’t want any trouble. Some are just people-pleasers. Although they really want to get rid of you, they just couldn’t say it upfront. The most subtle way to get rid of you gradually is to say these lines. “We can still be friends. If you need me I’m just a call away” what they really mean is let’s agree to walk away and stop talking sh*t behind my back or tell people how horrible our relationship was, “If we’re really meant to be, destiny will find its way” at the back of their minds: “If destiny finds its way for us to get back together I’ll find my way out again”.
7. You always have to start the conversation. You had to chat with him first. Greet him on his birthday, asking him how things are or “I saw you with your new girlfriend today” or just any excuse to communicate with him.
Reality check: You’re lucky if he’s even responding to your messages. It means he’s just being civil. He just doesn’t want any trouble. That’s just it. You might assume right away that he replies because he wants to get back with you. The truth is he just doesn’t want any trouble. He wants to tell you “It’s over ok? No hard feelings.”
8. His family and friends tells you: “he still wants you back” “you’ll be together someday” “he still into you”
Reality check: His family can’t speak for him. You were once close to them so they just don’t want to hurt your feelings. If he wants to get back with you he’ll find a way and you didn’t have to stalk him through his family and friends. Like what the movie All About Steve Says:
“If you love someone, set him free; if you have to stalk him, he probably wasn’t yours in the first place.”
9. He has a new love. Ouch. The kicker of all kickers — he’s got a new girlfriend. You bump into them at the grocery store arm and arm, and he’s smiling from ear to ear. His posts in facebook is all about his new girlfriend. You don’t need the other 8 reasons listed in this post to make sure it’s over, seeing him in public is as good of a sign as any that it’s over.
Reality check: Ok fine. This one is debatable. If he has a new girlfriend just right after you broke up, chances are he’s off on a rebound relationship and there’s still a little chance you’d get back together.
But, if you’ve broken up a year ago, or maybe its already his second relationship after you’ve broke up, then it’s totally over. Move on and never look back. If he’s still into you, it won’t take a year before he realizes he still loves you and finds a way to get you back. And, when he broke up with his “rebound relationship” he could have realized he was still in love with you and find a way to get you back. He wouldn’t even think of getting into a different relationship.
If it’s the 3rd relationship after you broke up and its been ages since, well – its time for you to see a shrink!
So now you’re trying to move on. Here are a few do’s and dont’s:
• Stop thinking of the “should have, would have, could have if you were still together” and think of what you currently have. Try to appreciate being single- at least you are free to make decisions on your own and focus on important things. Or being in a happy relationship – focus on building a strong relationship with the right guy.
• Try online dating. Even if you don’t meet the one, it’s a good distraction from heartbreak and it helps you get back in the game.
• Spend time with friends. Go shopping, have picnics, barhop. Enjoy being single!
• Treat yourself. Have you been wanting a new haircut? Go for it. Pamper yourself because you are amazing
• Stop stalking him and waste all of your time adding all his friends and his whole clan in facebook or twitter. It’s just making you look like a total loser to his whole clan and all his friends and worst – his new girlfriend, showing them that you couldn’t move on.
• Show everyone you’re single and happy or happy in a new relationship.
• Don’t self-pity. Allow yourself to feel sad, but don’t waste too much time crying over the wrong one. It’s his loss, ladies, just keep going and don’t look back.
• Love yourself. Go to the gym, focus on your career, work on improving yourself instead of trying to please the wrong him.